Yes, that ever elusive happiness that you’ve heard so much about. It’s a fluctuating beast that seems to leave as soon as it went.
Allen Parducci proposed a theory that may be of some interest in your pursuit. Let me give a disclaimer that (obviously) I’m not a psychologist and this is all my interpretation.
The Game
Parducci conducted a study in which two groups were each given a deck of cards. The players would be rewarded with the value that was on the card they drew. The cards varied in value, with one group getting lower returns more frequently and the other high returns less frequently. However, both groups ended up getting the same amount of money in the end.
The players were told the probabilities of their deck, and each player selected a card, received the amount of money specified on the card and asked what his degree of satisfaction was with the reward.
Satisfaction ratings for the group that were given lower amounts yet won more frequently had higher satisfaction than the group that won higher amounts less frequently.
Adapation is the enemy of happiness
Parducci inferred that people are happier when satisfactory events occur more frequently. That seems like common sense, right? But what you might not be taking into account is that our level of satisfaction is lowered if we stretch the range of our expectations to include amazing, yet rare, events.
This can explain why when things are really good, we get used to it. The rich don’t constantly walk around in a state of ecstasy. And when things are really bad, we get used to it. We need a fluctuation in our range of happiness, or it simply becomes the norm. We need both good and bad.
The Key to Happiness (according to Parducci)
What Parducci is getting at is that we need frequently occurring, enjoyable experiences in order to maintain happiness. We should seek out frequent, “good-enough” experiences rather than “wow” experiences.
That means more pleasant walks around the neighborhood with a loved one, rather than skydiving. Or frequent restaurant trips to an average place, rather than a ritzy night out.
In essence- don’t treat yourself to “wow” experiences. They’ll make your typical day to day seem more drab in comparison.
There are some qualifications to think about- such as some experiences bring you many happy memories, or even anticipation (such as a trip to Hawaii). There is some gray area in Parducci’s theory.
On the Hedonistic Treadmill
I find this assessment gloomy, to be honest. Sure, I’ll be happy. But at what cost? Not having “wow” experiences and never seeing all the things the world has to offer?
There’s something beyond range-frequency theory to consider: the Hedonistic Treadmill. I think this is truly the source of our unhappiness, especially among us ambitious folk. We get one thing, and we’re on to the next. “I just got a great job, now I need a great apartment!” or “I just got published in a literary journal- now where’s my book deal?”
It’s my folk-psychology take that this is why all your accomplishments fall away and you feel unsuccessful rather than seeing what you’ve truly accomplished. Ambition can be a real bitch.
Find Meaning
How do we avoid the treadmill? According to Daniel Pink (A Whole New Mind), Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman began studying happiness for himself. According to him, we can stay at the top of our happiness/well-being range by paying attention to certain things such as engaging in satisfying work, avoiding negative emotions, and having a rich social network. Easier said then done, but a first step is to practice gratitude forgiveness, and optimism.
The next step is to use your strengths to achieve gratification in the main areas of your life, such as work. Once you are engaged in meaningful work, you can deploy them in the service of something larger to complete the journey to true happiness.
Basically, find your strengths to define purpose in life and the rest will follow.